Beautiful Mess is a series that mines the wisdom of parents in Saskatchewan who have experienced difficult circumstances.
When Dennie Fornwald got a call at work on a Friday morning that her 11-year-old hadn’t shown up to school, the Regina woman felt sick to her stomach.
The school, her friends and family and eventually the police were all out searching for her child.
Police eventually located the Grade 6 student outside the Saskatchewan legislature.
Kiké, who uses they/them pronouns, had printed off small flyers about climate change and was handing them out to people.
“That day and the days before, I felt so down and hopeless,” Kiké said. “I had read books that action is the best antidote for this. I felt there was nothing else I could do, so I went to the legislature alone.”
Fornwald was on an emotional roller-coaster that morning.
“There was a part of me that was angry that they did this without asking and that they didn’t think about the consequences, but mostly I was just so relieved they were OK.”
Fornwald and her husband Kris Dueck felt sad they hadn’t realized just how bad their child’s climate anxiety had become. They used this scary situation as a teachable moment for the family.
“There wasn’t a part of me that didn’t understand why they did it,” says Fornwald. “That’s why we really knew we needed to help them find safe and appropriate action, but that they absolutely needed to take part in something that was gonna make them feel like they had power.”
Kiké’s love of all things in nature started young. Their mother remembers them picking up a bird book at age three and looking at it for three hours straight. Kiké is an avid birder and has a keen interest in mushroom identification. They get immersed in guides on mushrooms, native plants and birds like other kids would with video games.
Kiké says it was two years ago, at age nine, when they first got a book out from the library about climate change.
“I was surprised that life would just go on as normal when these terrible things are happening.”
The terrible things Kiké is talking about is global warming,
“We are using too much and overexploiting the earth, which I feel will lead to grave consequences.”
There is a term for what Kiké and many other young people are feeling — climate anxiety. A 2023 study in the Journal of Climate Change and Health surveyed 1,000 young people across Canada and found more than half the kids reported feeling afraid, sad, anxious and powerless. Kiké fits into the 37 per cent of kids who reported their feelings about climate change negatively impacted their daily functioning.
Fornwald says there are days when Kiké loses their motivation to care about day-to-day basics like getting dressed and going to school or being enthusiastic about the sports they are involved in.
Kiké says there are highs and lows.
“I feel bad because I’m not feeling like I’m doing enough or something like that. But then I eventually feel better and then I feel like I’m not doing enough again and I’ll just cycle on and on.”
Their anxiety tends to be worse in the summer when the realities of climate change hit close to home, whether that’s due to droughts or fires. Last year, Kiké had several track meets cancelled because of smoke from wildfires.
“I had to stay inside for like three days at a time, which is hard because I really love being outside.”
Kiké says what seems to help the most is taking action with other people.
They have connected with the local EnviroCollective, a climate action advocacy group in Regina. The 11-year-old has gone door knocking to collect signatures for a petition to be delivered at the legislature. They’ve been part of art projects and podcasts centred around climate change, and connected with groups such as Better Bus Youth. Kiké has also become involved with the Cathedral Forest Project, planting an urban forest in a park not far from the family’s house.
Dueck and Fornwald have watched Kiké throw themselves into the forest project, collecting little sticks every time they go outside to propagate new trees. All their windowsills are now filled with tiny jars filled with baby trees that Kiké tends to religiously.
“They help me deal with climate anxiety because it’s somewhere to put my care into that isn’t too hard or far-fetched in the future,” explained Kiké.
Fornwald has found one challenge is setting boundaries to keep their child safe, including prohibiting social media. For now, Kiké has to find other ways to reach people with their message. They’re also not allowed to skip school and can only take part in protests when it doesn’t conflict with their schooling. But Kiké’s parents have agreed to drive them to environmental meetings in the evenings and attend with them when possible.
Fornwald said she thinks about climate change activism the same way she thinks about mushroom collecting.
“If your kid wants to know everything about mushrooms, you have to connect with experts and you have to know something yourself, so you can be safe. Climate change action is similar. We can’t just send you out into the world to tackle it on your own — we’ve gotta go with you.”
Dueck said navigating this anxiety journey has brought him closer with his child. The two of them don’t shy away from honest conversations about their mental health. Dueck acknowledges he is trying to find a balance between protecting his child and allowing himself to be vulnerable about his own anxieties. Both of them said they feel closer after these candid conversations.
“A lot of time there’s just thoughts floating around that really can’t go away and when I talk about them out loud, it really helps,” said Kiké.
Kiké is now working with a professional counsellor, who’s teaching the young activist lessons in self-care that will serve them in the long-run.
“It doesn’t feel like a direct action, but taking good care of yourself like sleeping, eating well, exercising, taking rest when you need it is actually an action because we need you to be well so we can keep doing the other things that have a huge impact,” explained Fornwald.
While both parents said they’ve always cared about the environment, Dueck said their oldest child has pushed them to be more accountable. They are mindful of driving less and biking to work. Their recycling system is elaborate, diverting almost all of their waste to recycling and compost.
“We are doing more thinking about these things and trying to be better citizens and people,” Dueck said. “That’s a lesson parents can take, that kids can lead the way in a lot of ways and maybe sometimes we should follow them.”
And Kiké has his own wisdom to pass along.
“You don’t have to take on the entire problem by yourself, just do what you can.”
Today, what they can do is care for these baby trees that have taken over their back table — caring and nurturing the earth while they care for and nurture each other.
Do you have parenting themes you’d like to see tackled? Do you know a parent who has some hard-earned wisdom to share? Email [email protected].
