At Erica Howe’s first oncologist appointment on Sept. 11, 2024, she posed a question that had never been asked before.
“Can I play hockey?” Howe wanted to know, not long after learning she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Exactly one year later, having not laced up skates in 365 days, Howe asked again.
This time, the answer was different.
“Well, I think you can start with five minutes of ice time. You absolutely cannot play goalie,” the doctor said.
Each sentence elated Howe, the former Toronto Sceptres goalie who now works as a firefighter, for different reasons.
The first is obvious.
“I just know when you go play hockey with your friends, you’re loving life. I know the kind of impact that could have on me mentally,” she said.
The second, perhaps less so. Unless, of course, you too are a goalie.
“I don’t know if you know anything about goalies. But in retirement, we do not want to play goalie. So I was like, ‘I’m going to need that in writing,'” Howe joked. “I can only play forward and score goals.”
Howe, the 33-year-old from Orleans, Ont., has now completed active treatment for her cancer with no evidence of disease. However, since her cancer was hormone positive, she remains on suppressants.
Last December, her worlds collided when the Sceptres hosted a bra-toss fundraiser for breast-cancer research during a game against the Montreal Victoire. Howe fought through tears to deliver a post-game speech and was immediately embraced by longtime friend Laura Stacey.
On Saturday, Howe will take the mic once more as a keynote speaker for Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer, a Princess Margaret event in Toronto where both the PWHL and a group of fellow firefighters have entered teams.
“I’m just excited to see the impact and the community feel of the event where there’s so many people coming together, they raise big dollars, everyone’s fighting and pulling towards the same thing. That’s definitely something I can get on board with,” Howe said.
WATCH | Former Toronto goalie Erica Howe grateful for support during cancer battle:
Former Toronto goalie Erica Howe, who is battling cancer, grateful for support
But the publicity is not something Howe has always been comfortable with.
When she first received her diagnosis, not long after retiring from hockey, she kept it just within her inner circle, with strict rules that no one was allowed to feel badly for her. “You’re in it with me now,” was the motto.
Slowly, though, once Howe got some more answers on what she was facing, she grew more comfortable with opening up.
In the background, close friend and PWHL senior director of corporate partnership Chelsea Purcell had already planted the seed for the fundraiser night.
In the end, a company called Bravado donated 60,000 bras — all of which were in turn donated to a homeless shelter — and the team, along with Howe’s Mississauga Fire Department, raised $120,000.
Fighting tears, Purcell commended her friend.
“A lot of people can’t imagine breast cancer. It’s beatable, which is like, it was always positive, but [Howe] was really strong, and being able to talk about it and leverage your community to raise awareness and funds, like she was so strong,” Purcell said.
At the same time, Howe was using hockey as a comfort zone. After a call with Sceptres general manager Gina Kingsbury, the former goalie rejoined the team as a part-time equipment manager.
Howe would sharpen skates, do laundry and hang with her ex-teammates — normal moments she credited for helping her get through the last year.
Purcell, a former CWHL player and GM herself, is also friends with Howe through hockey.
“It was just cool to see how the hockey community is very small, but very powerful. It just shows what one thing can happen and everyone comes together in a bigger way,” Purcell said.
As an athlete, Howe’s come to understand her body better than most in terms of what feels normal, what feels sore and when she might need extra recovery.
So when her doctor introduced a chemotherapy plan, she felt perfectly in her comfort zone.
And then there was the aspect of paying it forward.
Howe sat on the bench as Toronto visited Montreal for a game at the Bell Centre in front of 20,000 fans in Year 1 of the PWHL.
She couldn’t help but cry — to the point that teammates Kali Flanagan and Jess Munro were perplexed. Howe, who spent years in both the CWHL and PWHPA before the PWHL came into existence, explained just how far the sport had come since her early days when she had to pay for sticks just to play.
Howe even suspected that Kingsbury and head coach Troy Ryan brought her in to provide that perspective for some younger players.
“What we always would say to each other is leave it better for the next generation,” Howe said.
“And when I thought about breast cancer, when I went into the doctor’s office and she said, ‘This is your chemo plan, these are the drugs you will take, these are your times,’ all I could think about was the people who came before me.”
That realization is what allowed Howe to have the confidence to make a speech during a fundraiser night at the Sceptres game last December, or even talk to CBC for this story ahead of her next event.
“I always wanted to leave the hockey game better. And I think it’s the same with breast cancer.”
