WARNING: This story contains details of intimate partner violence.
A Brandon, Man., woman whose ex-partner was convicted for secretly posting sexually explicit videos of her while she was pregnant to a pornography website says the brief sense of safety she felt when he was incarcerated has been ripped away following his release as he appeals his sentence.
“He’s probably more upset and angry with me than he’s ever been, because he does blame me,” said the woman, who shares two children with her ex-partner.
“I’m so scared of … what he might do” while “he has his opportunity,” she said.
“I don’t know if it’s going to be a verbal attack, a physical attack, [or] something like even just standing there and staring at me and trying to intimidate me.”
CBC News is not naming the woman or her ex due to a publication ban to protect her identity.
The 36-year-old Brandon man received a nine-month jail sentence on Feb. 13, almost a year after he was convicted for non-consensual distribution of intimate images by a provincial court judge.
The man is appealing the sentence. With the appeal pending, he was released from custody in March, with conditions prohibiting communication with the woman beyond contact related to their children, court documents say.
She was told her ex will remain free until his appeal is heard in court, which could take months.
Last month, Brandon police said the man is now also facing charges over allegations he posted videos of another woman to an adult website over a period of five years.
He was arrested again on the new charges on March 26, but was released from custody, police said. He will appear in court on the new charge on May 22.
His ex-partner discovered the videos of her when she received a lewd birthday text from her ex, which included a link to a Pornhub video of her, his sentencing decision says.
She reported the man to police. At the time of their investigation, the videos had been viewed a total of over 1,700 times.
She says her ex seemed to be intentionally trying to hurt her post-breakup.
“He hadn’t hurt me enough, I guess, over the course of our relationship.”
Tsungai Muvingi, the provincial co-ordinator for Manitoba Association of Women’s Shelters, says situations involving the release of a person accused of technology-facilitated violence — the use of technology to threaten, harass, embarrass, assault, extort or otherwise torment someone — are “very complicated.”
“Navigating the system right now is, unfortunately, still very difficult because there’s no clear path,” Muvingi said.
It can be difficult for women to access tools available, like protection orders, and there are often caveats on orders when there are children involved, she said.
“Protection orders may only be placed on the woman, as opposed to the whole family, and so in those situations the abuser or the perpetrator still has to have access to the children,” said Muvingi.
Under the conditions of his release, the Brandon woman’s ex-partner is not allowed to contact her except with regard to the children they share, but she fears he may exploit that to harass her.
“We were talking about something about the kids, and I told [him] that he needed to text me, because he kept trying to call me,” the woman said.
“He goes on to say … ‘You need to stop lying and playing the victim all the time. I’ve been nothing but polite and professional and courteous,'” said the woman.
“It’s just not fair. Like, I live my life in a state of fear. But you [her ex-partner], you know, feel fine. Like, just saying these kinds of words because, oh well, we were talking about the kids first.”
Marlene Aguilar, the manager of counselling services at Klinic Community Health in Winnipeg, says technology-facilitated violence is a growing problem.
“It’s also very common in intimate-partner relationships,” she said.
“It can be for revenge, it can be to hurt the other person, and it can be to humiliate the other person,” said Aguilar.
Such abuse has evolved along with changes in how technology is used, experts say. For example, smart security systems that can be monitored by phone have been used to harass victims, and e-transfers of small amounts of money have been used to send abusive messages to victims.
In 2023, an Ontario woman was killed by her ex-boyfriend hours after he sent her multiple abusive messages through e-transfers, using their “optional message” feature.
That sparked action from a lobby group, the Canadian Bankers Association, and Interac, which runs the e-transfer service, to give users the option to opt-out of seeing memo fields and contact names in e-transfer notifications.
But still, “what is seen above the surface is a very small amount of what’s really going on” in terms of technology-based violence, said Lois Ruston, the executive director of YMCA Westman Shelter in Brandon.
People who have experienced such violence can seek care through support groups at shelters or gender-based violence prevention organizations, Ruston said, while the community at large can support victims through educating themselves to recognize the signs of the abuse.
“We want to provide them with other connections and other support systems that they can lean on as they rebuild their lives,” she said.
Ruston also said a system that can monitor people accused of crimes is another way to address safety for victims.
The province of Manitoba said in November it was expanding its ankle monitor program to rural Manitoba, and that the program would include the use of an app that can provide resources and emergency help for survivors of intimate partner violence.
Ruston called that “a great first step,” saying it could “provide peace of mind … for victims and survivors from a physical contact perspective.”
As of November, only 31 of Manitoba’s 100 available ankle monitors were in use, the province said at the time.
Meanwhile, the Brandon woman says she just wants to “not be the girl who had videos put of her on the internet.”
The ordeal has left “this dark, dark cloud” hanging over her, she said.
“He’s told me multiple times like, ‘This isn’t over, this isn’t over,” the woman said. “I guess he’s right.”
If you’re in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. If you’re affected by family or intimate partner violence, you can look for help through crisis lines and local support services.
