Two years ago, Shawna Nelson sold her house, moved into a motel, and thought she had a plan for where her life was heading next.
Nelson, now 63 years old and living in Calgary, sold a house willed to her by her father after spending years caring for him and her grandmother, and quickly found a buyer at the asking price she’d set. The motel was supposed to be a temporary stay as Nelson expected she’d soon be moving in with a man in the U.S. she thought loved her.
But instead of taking the next step in a relationship, Nelson said she found out she was the target of a romance scam, an increasingly common method of fraud in Canada. She said she lost her life savings of around $380,000 after sending payments to the man over the course of several years.
Calgarian says she lost everything in a romance scam & wants to warn others
“I had been talking to a guy that said we’re going to get together, and I kept sending him money. And that’s why I was in a motel, because I thought soon I’ll be getting out of here. And I just believed him, and I shouldn’t have,” said Nelson.
Nelson said she was open to finding love now that her four children were grown up, and more than three decades after her husband of 12 years had died.
“Because my husband died so long ago, and now that my kids were all grown, I wanted to find true love. And that’s what I thought I’d found,” said Nelson.
Their connection first started about five years ago, when the man, who identified himself as Gilbert, contacted Nelson to warn her to cut off contact with a potential scammer she’d been chatting with on WhatsApp.
Nelson and Gilbert continued messaging each other for years, while never meeting in person and with Gilbert never sending her a picture. He said he worked for the U.S. government, and wasn’t allowed to show his face due to the nature of his job.
Three years later, Nelson says she began transferring him money, with plans of starting a life together. But late last year she began to question the frequency of his requests for money, and asked why he wouldn’t come to Calgary to help her with her move.
“When he kept asking for more money and more money, I’m going, ‘What is this all for? Like, I’ve given you enough already,'” said Nelson. “And he always came up with an excuse.”
Gilbert sent Nelson a picture of the house they’d move into, but she said it looked fake. That photo along with the repeated requests for cash helped her see through the scam. But by then, Nelson said she had already lost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Not knowing where to turn, Nelson went to Unison at Kerby Centre, a not-for-profit group that supports people aged 50 and older. She’s lived in the centre’s elder abuse shelter for around six months while trying to put her life back together.
Now, Nelson says she feels stuck.
She’s still trying to process what’s happened to her, as she notes the savings she lost would have been enough to buy a small condo with some money left over for her to live off of with her two dogs and one cat.
Her only income source is her pension, she’s not eligible for some subsidized seniors housing programs that become available at age 65, and she’s struggled to find a place to live where she can reunite with her pets.
“It was devastating,” said Nelson.
“People say, well, you shouldn’t be so dumb to let somebody do that to you. But it happens.”
Stories like Nelson’s aren’t unusual, said Unison at Kerby Centre’s president and CEO Larry Matheison. He said the organization works on a high number of cases where seniors have experienced financial abuse or fraud. Romance scams, as well as grandparent scams, are examples he said the centre sees often.
Mathieson said that it can be hard for people to wrap their heads around how common romance scams can be when they become aware of them.
“If people hear about a romance scam for the first time, it’s hard to believe that you would need to be alert to that type of situation,” said Mathieson.
“But also in situations where it’s a close family member essentially defrauding a parent or grandparent of their retirement, for a lot of us it’s very hard to believe it happens. But unfortunately, the reality is it does.”
Romance scams can be especially devastating for seniors, Mathieson pointed out, when exacerbated by a lack of affordable housing for them to turn to, as well as inflation raising the cost of groceries and medication.
Unison’s seniors supports help around 6,000 people most years, Mathieson said, with accessing benefits, housing or government programs. The organization also completes outreach work with partners like seniors lodges or residences, which can be just as important to prevent cases of financial abuse.
“We’re looking at creating an environment of safety. And in a lot of cases where financial abuse is the case, awareness of the abuse is a great deterrent,” said Mathieson.
The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, an organization that Nelson reported her case to and which collects information on cases of fraud and identity theft, finds that Canadians lost more than $58 million in romance scams, affecting 1,030 victims, in 2024. The total is more than double the $22.5 million that was reported lost in these cases in 2018.
Jeff Horncastle, outreach officer with the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, said the group’s mandate is to gather information to assist in investigations, as well as education and awareness efforts.
“There’s a lot of value in reporting, but with that being said, it’s important to understand that we don’t investigate and that’s why it’s so important to report to your local police,” said Horncastle.
